Kareoke will never be a sober sport
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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