"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
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