My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
