I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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