turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
