what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
