i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
