During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
