I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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