Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize