You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
