But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Boobs speak an international language.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Please don't give away my fajitas
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
