Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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