Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just pee around me
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
