You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
