Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
