so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
