Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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