I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
