well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
