what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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