Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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