You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
