i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
