Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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