A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
