Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize