You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
