well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
