i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
