Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
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