do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
