All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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