she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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