My cat gives me a boner
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
