Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
