we have pet lesbian snakes
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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