tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
