Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
