): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
