Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
