Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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