Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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