I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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