you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
