im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize