I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
