honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
