How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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