I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
