so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
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We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
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Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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