1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
