Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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