Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just found puke in my bra..
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
