this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
