I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
