but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Come see our sink grown plant.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
