Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
