I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
people are starting to question the shark bite story
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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