Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
