I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
