Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
