is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
