i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
