so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she told me i tasted like america
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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