If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize
