dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just had sex bonerless
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
